Retail. No word makes teenagers all over the world shudder, except maybe catering. If you’ve done your stint in the awful world of retail then be proud, you’ve earned your medal. If you’re still working there then hopefully knowing that everybody else thinks the same as you might help get you through the day.
1. It’s 6 a.m. Why am I even here? Why am I out of bed?
2. Can I just say there are no size 9′s in the back instead of looking?
3. I need to send the world’s fastest text before anybody notices.
4. Am I allowed to wear this at work? Will I get sent home?
5. I hope they don’t make me buy new outfits.
6. I spend more money on work clothes than I’ll make all week.
7. I spend more money on KFC than I’ll make all week.
8. 95 boxes of shipment have come in? Are you having a laugh?
9. The secret shopper is here today? Time to clean everything.
10. It is the school holidays, therefore it is chaos.
We are closed! Go away!
11. Why doesn’t anyone actually clean the stock room?
12. Maybe I can just sleep under the counter and nobody will notice me.
13. Why am I the only person on the till, have you seen how busy we are!?
14. Why are customers telling me their pointless stories? Get in, pay, and get out
15 Where are all these children coming from?
17. No, we’re not hiring, we’re never hiring again.
18. I hope there aren’t any go-backs in the dressing room.
19. The weirdos who come in to this shop never cease to amaze me.
Customers sicken me
21. Wow, I wish my parents blew this kind of money on me.
22. Why aren’t those people buying anything?
23. I really hope that guy isn’t stealing anything.
24. Did you just put a packet of socks under your shirt mate?
25. I think the anti-theft sensor is broke…
26. I’m confronting this guy! This is happening!
40 Thoughts People Have Working In Retail continues on the next page…
27. OK. Never mind. I’m not getting stabbed over a vest.
28. I’m drinking as soon as my shift is over.
29. I’m drinking as soon as my dinner starts.
30. New company playlist? It’s finally over…
I’ll check the tiny room that is ‘the back’
31. It’s October and the Christmas playlist has started
32. If I have to hear “Pumped Up Kicks” one more time, I will gauge my eyes out.
32. Yeah mate, I will gladly throw your rubbish away, no problem.
33. No, you cannot use the shop toilet.
34. We have dressing rooms, why are you changing in front of me?
35. No, I’m not finding your 16 year old child a “sexy” outfit.
36. You destroyed that entire pile of shirts for the extra small sitting on top?
37. I cannot lower prices mate, I’m not the CEO.
38. I’m going to nod my head and not do anything my manager is saying.
39. I’m going to be folding clothes for the rest of my life. I promise to have a new job this time next year.
40. It’s a year later and I’m still here folding clothes, what am I doing with my life?
You’ve spent your first year in retail, congratulations.